i finished highschool last tuesday... and i will be graduating tomorrow...

a lot has happened in the last four years,  and a lot has changed... 

im not quite sure what i want to get out of this writing

maybe just the pressure of everything thats building up...


i really hate how predictable highschool was in some senses...
i hate how a lot of things happened

i dont even know where to start


i regret loosing touch with people i used to be best friends with like Tyler, Danny, and Andres

i regret being friends with people like roland and andrew so long, and really despise them for some og the shit they put me though

i hate how i drifted so far away from Moon. there was a reason a left that crowd of people, i really regret not keeping as great of touch with him as i should have, he was a great guy

i really regret how i lost touch with Gabe... in fact, i dident  even realize he was gone until senior year... i miss him... he really was a great friend, and i wish i had been better to him and his family

it sort of upsets me that i wont be walking with Meghan, when i was first befriended by her and Whitney, if i had to guess one of us wouldent be, i honestly would have thought it would have been me, i kinda miss how we used to be, but i think it fits the way we drifted away from one another

im glad i got to spend my last day in school with Whitney, and i really do hope we keep in touch now that schools over

i hate how i still owe Katy a note from a freshmen year christmas gift

i hate how i wasted so much time in such a dumb useless relationship like my first, and i hate who it was with

i hate her brother to...

i hate how i never really got to know Heather Milito, she always seemed so cute and nice, just seeing her could make you smile on the inside

im really glad i was able to forgive people like Nik and Baashar, and look at them without feeling any hatred for making me miserable in middle school, it really proves how crazy it is that people actually change

over winter break duing freshmen year i went out with this girl named Sarah, and it didnt quite work out... which is perfectly ok, i couldent see us together anyways, i do however regret all of the horrible things i said about her after... sometimes i think that if maybe i hadnt said all that stuff, we may still be friends... there was just something about her, she was like smart on a level so much higher than everybody else, and looked a things differently... its unexplainable how intelligent she was, and i just wish i could have been friends with that

i regret never getting a bass in time to do that band, the Shanks, with Matt Romack before he left like i was supposed to

i really regret never pointing out to Drake what a joke he really was, and became

its unfortunate that China left to another school. i really had some great times with her, and she was fun to be around

one of the greatest things that happened to me, was probably when my sister started going out with Chris... sure it dident quite work out between them, but im glad we became friends. ive had so many great times with that kid, and he really is like a brother to me, im positive that with him, if not anybody else, i will still be as great, if not better friends with

if i could change anything, i would want to change the way everything between me and Megen worked out... i regret not ending it when i should have, but i regret even more than anything else the way we never became friends...  i said things that i probably shouldnt have, but it really bothers me. i hate how i couldent barely even speak to her in my last semester, and i hate how whenever i did all i got were one or two word responses, as if she wasnt even interested in speaking to me... near the end of the year we played Mario Kart, and those two days seemed like maybe things would sway like i would have wanted them to and maybe reform a friendship, but i guess i wasnt enough... theres always something in your life youll regret and wish you could have changed, and i supose this must  be mine

my dad had a stroke half way through my four years, and it forced to to grow a lot, i missed out on a lot, but i gained a whole in other aspects of my life, like music, i think that was when i really started to grow up and go to more shows... and that helped me a lot

i met this girl named Julie at a G.B.H. show one summer, i had a bad run in with some skins, and lost my glasses, she helped me try to find them, and later became guitarist for Super Spys... i feel really bad we wound up having to kick her out of the band, and fear she may still hold some sort of a grudge deep down for that...

through her, i met this girl named Jeska, and weve started to hang out recently, shes real cool and i hoe we can hang out more in the future

one of the greatest things Megan did, was sort of introduce me to Mat, we had some awesom times together, and he even felt like the older brother i always wanted, ill miss how we always used to hang out doing nothing, and our trips to St. Pete... im glad that weve still been able to keep touch even after hes graduated, and now that i am, hopefully ill see him more, once i start driving, im going to go to Orlando all the time

junior year, out of desperation, i fell for this slutty fat ass chick named kayla, and i really regret it, and hate her. i wish she actually was a man instead of looking like one so i could just punch her in thet face. slut. whore. future STD victim. eat shit, itll serve you right fat fucking bitch.

that same year, i met this kid named James, hes already graduated, and we still keep up occassionally... not as often as i would hope, but everynow and then... hes one of those few people who actually get music, and support it locally... i have so much respect for him, and this other kid named Alex for those things its crazy...

thanksgiving break junior year, i went to a Briefs show and met this girl im still seeing, Vanessa, its crazy how story book everything went, and im really glad it happened, shes shown me so much in life, and means the world to me... sure things havent always been great, but weve always been able to work them out, and i hope things between us keep going for a long time to come <3

when i met her, i was still in my second band, Super Spys, and we were then guitarless, and eventually met this kid named Skyler... hes seriously cool, and its crazy how much he has grown up since then... i only regret not being as great of a friend as i was... i feel as though i could have done so much more, and so much better... i hope things change, and i hope i can still manage to keep contact with him no matter what state he is in

i fear i will loose touch with people like Meagan... i fear we will only see each other at shows, and with my still growing frustrations with the local ska scene, im not even sure ill have that

near the start of senior year, i got a job at the Tampa Theatre, and met so many great people there... two come to mind, Michael, my first work friend friend... were becoming more distant since hes been fired, but i hope we can manage to keep in touch, also, this awesome guy Harry, it worries me how depressed he is, and i hope he is truely happy one day... he recently quit, but i hope we can still be friends

Garvin... i feel as though i let him down a lot. and i feel as though, he could have picked anyone else to be a better friend... i knew him before senior year, but it was then that i think i saw how great of a guy he really is. i will one day hang out with him, and we will have an awesome time

senior year i met this girl named Liz, at first, i honestly thought she was some dumb trendy kid i would probably forget, but we wound up friends... i always thought it was cool how musically intelligent she was, and will one day give her that note and mixtape i owe her, even if i have to hunt her down in Gainsville to do it


there is so much more i could say... Louis, FWI, Brian, Anthony, Rufina and Margret, things from elementry and middle school, Rotten Deal, Chambo friends, show friends...

i just dont know if i qutie have the time... or if itll go over well, of it anybody even cares...

im not sure what i got out of this if even anything... 

but if you have any thoughts, please tell... if you wonder where you are, and what id like to say just tell me, id be glad to tell you... 

im not sure it this even deserves an end... good, bad, whatever
Oister

ps, i graduate today (may 22) at 4:00 at the USF Sundome, so if anybody cares to come, your more than welcome

thats right, do something good for once and help save a legendary punk club from closing its doors forever, please, you would be helping the world, not to mention yourself, so help support your scence

heres the link, if it dosent work you can always paste in in your address bar

http://www.savecbgb.org/

thanks a jillon